Special guest: Alex Polikowsky

http://chatnotes-unschooling.blogspot.pt/2014/03/special-chat-alex-polikowsky.html

From Sandra's notes for this chat:

"March 19, Alex Polikowsky stars in the chat!

I know, she's always there, but this time the chat will be about her! Maybe about the conference in Rochester and the one in Minneapolis last year, or maybe about her exciting life, or maybe about her creative storage and play ideas.

I won't be there, so the participants will decide. Read here for ideas: http://sandradodd.com/alex

And here's her blog: http://polykow.blogspot.com

Marta will host, and I'll read the transcript later! That day I'll be in an automobile with Jo Isaac, driving from Adelaide to Melbourne! I could fly, but I wanted to see some normal Australians who didn't see a foreigner coming. Catch them unawares, in their natural rural habitat. I hope. We're staying in a motel. That's exciting for me—everyday foreigness away from tourist towns and big cities."

Sara Vaz joined the chat

AlexPolikowsky4 joined the chat

Capn Franko joined the chat

Capn Franko: Special guest Alex Polikowsky? Wow! Can we get autographs? (wink)

Sara Vaz: -=-Hi everyone! Hi Alex! If you're already reading this, that means that I'm late (again -- what a crummy host Sandra's got here...) and Sara is posting this on my behalf. My apologies! It's for a good reason, though. Today is Father's Day here in Portugal and Beatriz, my step-daughter, wanted to surprise Bruno and asked me to pick her up at school, so we could have dinner together. Chances are I'm still trying to park my car, but I'll be here soon. I'd like to thank Alex for accepting Sandra's invitation to be here with us today. Although you do come to the chats every week, this is a special chat since you will be the star!  I know Sandra appreciates you a lot and I do too -- you've been a good friend for some time now and a generous and precious helper translating unschooling writings to Portuguese and moderating a Portuguese discussion group on facebook. Thank you for all that you do, my dearest Alex! So, first of all, would you mind reviewing, for those of us here who don't know, your children's names and ages? Could you also explain briefly when and why you moved toward unschooling? Oh, and maybe you could tell us a bit about your awesome and very diversified life and how that has contributed to where you are today, as an unschooling mom. I've got some questions of my own, but let's hear from you now.-=-

AlexPolikowsky4: Thanks, Sara!

AlexPolikowsky4: No problem Frank, just come visit. 

Robin B. joined the chat

Sara Vaz: You're welcome, Alex! 

AlexPolikowsky4: You made it Robin!

Capn Franko: One day.

AlexPolikowsky4: 

Robin B.: Just for a bit, I think!

Robin B.: I'll stay as long as I can.

Deb Lewis joined the chat

AlexPolikowsky4: Hello Deb!

Deb Lewis: Alex!

Marta Pires joined the chat

Marta Pires: I made it!!! 

AlexPolikowsky4: I am so excited with my Korean! I can read anything pretty much! I just do not know what it means yet! I can read those funny characters and Korean letters. (Hangul)

Capn Franko: I have time to enjoy the full chat while the girls take finals. MJ is finishing a 20-hour quarter, then she and Ronnie are heading to London tomorrow. Chloe is still working through the last exams of the 25 hours she took. Both girls are doing 15 next quarter. Now there's some unschooling chat. (wink)

Sara Vaz: Marta!!!

Marta Pires: Thanks Sara, for posting my message. 

Sara Vaz: 

AlexPolikowsky4: Marta!

Marta Pires: Hi guys!!!

Sara Vaz: You're welcome, Marta!

AlexPolikowsky4: Glad you are here, Frank!

Jill Parmer joined the chat

AlexPolikowsky4: Some of my favorite people are here. 

Capn Franko: Me, too. Lucky timing that I'm free for this period today.

Marta Pires: And you are one of my favorite people, Alex! 

AlexPolikowsky4: My son is sleeping and my daughter went to our Health club with Brian to swim and play basketball.

Marta Pires: I think it might be best to wait until we've got 10 people or until it's half past the hour, right?

AlexPolikowsky4: You are mine, Marta. Actually all of the people here. 

Marta Pires: Yes, what a great bunch!

AlexPolikowsky4: We can just chat until then!

Deb Lewis: So, Marta, we have time to lavish Alex with love?

Virginia Warren joined the chat

Deb Lewis: I adore you, Alex.

Marta Pires: We do, Deb!!! Lavish away!!!

AlexPolikowsky4: And I love you Deb!

Rippy joined the chat

Rippy: Hi everyone!!

AlexPolikowsky4: I have been reading what Deb writes (and I wish it was more) for almost 10 years!

Marta Pires: Another favorite of mine -- Rippy!!! Hi beautiful!

AlexPolikowsky4: Hi, Rippy!

Deb Lewis: Brave Alex!

Rippy: Ahh, blush ​

AlexPolikowsky4: It is the crazy Brazilian thang!

Jill Parmer: I sprinkle you with love, Alex. :::rose petals fall from the ceiling on your head:::

Marta Pires: I'm usually on the lookout for what most of the people here write on the discussion boards.

Jill Parmer: They smell so good, and you bask in the love and aroma.

AlexPolikowsky4: I love you, Jill. I actually miss Jill in my house. It was so awesome having you here.

Jill Parmer: 

Sara Vaz: Me too, Marta! 

Marta Pires: I admire all of you so much! You've helped (and are still helping) me be a better person!

Jill Parmer: I miss it there too, Alex. Loved visiting. Will again...

AlexPolikowsky4: Well, not everyone loves me and I am OK with that.

Jill Parmer: I know the feeling, Marta.

Marta Pires: Wow, what a great way to start a chat! Filled with love! 

AlexPolikowsky4: Yes Jill, come and bring the family! ANYTIME!

Virginia Warren: I love the chat but I feel I'm eavesdropping on a private meeting of best friends. 

AlexPolikowsky4: You are welcome in Virginia!

AlexPolikowsky4: You have been a great support at the Unschooling Gamers group and I really appreciate it.

Virginia Warren: I'm a fangirl.

Virginia Warren: Thanks, Alex.

AlexPolikowsky4: Hey I am a fangirl of many in here today!

Virginia Warren: 

Jill Parmer: Dear Alex,

Jill Parmer: What are we going to talk about today?

Jill Parmer: Love, Jill.

AlexPolikowsky4: I can talk about pretty much anything, as Jill can attest to. 

Deb Lewis: Jill's funny!

Jill Parmer: Deb's a hoot! I tell ya.

Marta Pires: Just for the record, and for the people that will be reading the chat in the future, maybe answer these questions first, Alex? -=-So, first of all, would you mind reviewing, for those of us here who don't know, your children's names and ages? Could you also explain briefly when and why you moved toward unschooling? Oh, and maybe you could tell us a bit about your awesome and very diversified life and how that has contributed to where you are today, as an unschooling mom.-=-

AlexPolikowsky4: Sounds good, Marta.

Marta Pires: (I do wish to make it to Albuquerque one of these days and I *hope* that all of you guys can be there too, so I can meet you all in person!)

Rippy: I want to go to Albuquerque one day too and meet as many of the unschoolers on this chat as possible when I go. We should plan to go together Marta.

Marta Pires: (maybe Sandra can organize a super ALL Albuquerque, with the "créme de la créme" of Always Learning writers.) 

Marta Pires: Yes, Rippy!!! What an excelent idea! ​

Rippy: 

Virginia Warren: Does anyone think that there might be something special about the cities that have greater numbers of unschoolers?

Virginia Warren: I've been able to find 5 in my state.

Rippy: Where do you live Virginia?

Rippy: I mean which state?

Virginia Warren: Alabama.

Jill Parmer: What do you mean, Virginia? People unschooling flocking to a certain city does not make better unschooling.

Capn Franko: Seems more subject to stochastic organization than any purposeful confluences.

Capn Franko: People might move to laid-back cities because that feels congruent with their unschooling, but most don't have that kinda flexibility. Ya just unschool where you are.

Jill Parmer: It is nice to hang out with people that have similar respect toward children and learning. Although that does not prevent other normal, human problems. 

Virginia Warren: I just wonder if it says anything about the cities. I'm not talking about picking up and moving somewhere because there are a lot of unschoolers there.

Rippy: I thought it would be great to have lots of unschoolers where we live Virginia, but life is pretty busy and it's difficult to regularly get together with even the few unschoolers that I know.

Marta Pires: Same here, Rippy!

Capn Franko: IME, there is a certain vibe that comes with unschoolers in a locale but is that due to the locale or to the communal zeitgeist of the particular unschoolers there?

Rippy: As the kids grow up, they have things they want to do and classes they participate in and as they are growing older I'm finding it more and more challenging to fit everything in.

Marta Pires: Alex, are you writing up your wonderful introduction? 

Rippy: And it's not guaranteed that the unschooling families get along great. They might, but then again, maybe the kids don't have much in common.

AlexPolikowsky4:

Hi, I am Alex and I am a Brazilian big city girl married to a Minnesota farmer. My son is 11 (will be 12 end of June and he is 5'6'' already) and my daughter is 8.
I was lucky enough to have supportive parents who did not expect me to do anything I did not love or want to do and were happy for me to do what I loved. They also did not put any great importance in academics.
Still I was a very good student that loved going to school and reading encyclopedias or doing math algebra work books for fun. I got things fast so I spent the time in school doodling/drawing or reading books under the desk. I would read an Agatha Christie book everyday at school pretty much.
I love animals and dogs, so at 13 I fell in love with showing dogs and at 14 I was professionally showing in Brazil. At 16 I came to California to work for an America handler and learn more with the support of my parents that let me put school on hold!
I also did graduate from Law School. I absolutely loved Law School.
I have worked in so many different fields and jobs with so many different skills. I can list so many things I have done that it is silly. Right now I am learning Korean. I just fell in love with it. It is pretty cool. A totally different alphabet. I speak other languages but never one with a different alphabet!
I have traveled extensively for dog shows, as a Flight Attendant and just for fun.
I really really love my kids and being with them.
When I had my son, I naturally fell into Attachment Parenting and I am so lucky I found unschooling so early on, so I have been reading about it for 11 years.
When I started reading it all made sense to me. The more I read the more I nodded my head.
Still it has taken years to really get it and I am still working on it as the children grow and things change.
I never had issues some Americans have about limiting TV and food controls. It was not something my parents did. We even loved commercials on TV as my dad was in advertising. That made it easier for me not to have grown up with controlling parents.

Capn Franko: There it is!

Jill Parmer: Alex, how did you become interested in Korean?

Jill Parmer: Or Why rather.

AlexPolikowsky4: It was February and the Winter blues were smothering and I decided to watch a Korean Drama on Netflix and just became obsessed with them! And the rest is history. I do like to read/watch things in its original language.

Marta Pires: I also have a question for you about languages (because I know you have a way with different languages), but I'll wait for you to answer Jill.

AlexPolikowsky4: So the first show I watched was a Historical Drama and I started researching the characters and learned a lot of History and about the language.

Marta Pires: And the internet and the ability to connect with people who live far away (and I mean really far away) help a lot, too, in my opinion. (help to connect with other unschoolers and like-minded people)

AlexPolikowsky4: Marta, I love the Internet and computers.

Marta Pires: Me too, Alex.

Virginia Warren: Me too!

Capn Franko: Count me in.

Sara Vaz: Me too!!!

Robin B.: And me!

Virginia Warren: There's a book I really love called "The Diamond Age."

Virginia Warren: Subtitled "A young ladies' illustrated primer"

Virginia Warren: It's about a really high tech digital "book"

Virginia Warren: (It's more than that)

AlexPolikowsky4: I also really like the Soundtrack and songs they have on Korean Dramas and I like to understand (even if vaguely) a song I like. Sure you can see the translation to English but it's not the same thing! Knowing English, Portuguese, Spanish, French and even a tiny bit of Italian helps me with a lot of movies and songs.

AlexPolikowsky4: The Internet is my dream come true! Information fast! Images, history, connection and so much more! Fast right there on demand! For a person who used to read encyclopedias (all types) all the time! And loves images be movies or photographs!

Rippy: I spent so much time in libraries when I was a kid because that's where all the books were that could tell you about all sorts of stuff. I think if the internet had been around, I'd gone to libraries much less. Just spent all that time googling instead.

Virginia Warren: But a nice tablet with the internet is close to being that thing. A magic book that can be any book.

AlexPolikowsky4: I really do not understand the fear of it. I have learned so so much and have made some amazing friends (and met my hubby) on the internet!

AlexPolikowsky4: Yes, Rippy!

Rippy: I think now it's such a great time to be an unschooler.

Virginia Warren: When people say the internet "isolates" people, they are using the word "isolate" in a way I cannot comprehend.

Marta Pires: It really is, Rippy! I've thought about that too!

Marta Pires: I loved reading your blog yesterday, Alex, especially the latest posts where you talk about all that your kids have been learning with computers. And I *loved* the super sweet pics! 

AlexPolikowsky4: I agree Virginia. I even connect with local friends on the Internet!

AlexPolikowsky4: I need to blog more. My blog is for my kids and for me to save memories so I do not forget and so I can look back.

Marta Pires: One of the things Sandra has asked me in the past is if I think that unschooling ideas translate well to Portuguese. Because you've helped me so much with translations and moderating the Portuguese discussion group, what do you think? Do unschooling ideas translate well to other languages or is something lost along the way?

AlexPolikowsky4: Some things are harder to translate to Portuguese because there are no words that can really pass on that idea. But I think you are doing a great job. It is a lot harder for me to talk about unschooling in Portuguese but you have made it easier Marta for me to actually learn to do it.

Marta Pires: Alex, I think it's easier now because you have been writing more in Portuguese  but thank you for the compliment.

AlexPolikowsky4: Definitely Marta, but your translations have helped and you asking me to answer posts.

Marta Pires: I'm always nagging you!!!  Thank you for helping out so much.

Capn Franko: I love reading unschoolers' blog posts.

Robin B.: People who say the internet isolates people aren't thinking of the connections people *can* make.

Robin B.: We don't go out a lot these days - we like being home - but we connect with our friends and family in a way that we might not otherwise.

AlexPolikowsky4: I love the people here today and I have only met Jill in person. When I finally met her it was like hugging an old friend I had not seen in a while.

Jill Parmer: Alex will you link your blog for the chat?

Marta Pires: Great idea, Jill.

AlexPolikowsky4: Here is my blog -- http://polykow.blogspot.com/

Rippy: It's difficult for me sometimes to focus my mind on people that are concerned about unschooling. In my mind it's just such an incredibly fluid way to learn that I sometimes forget that to other people it might not make sense. For me, it just makes so much sense that I get confused when people doubt it 

Robin B.: I dislike talking on the phone. I prefer to chat in other ways.

Jill Parmer: So true, Rippy. I totally get what you're saying.

Capn Franko: I agree with Robin. Fear of the 'net is the new flavor of fear of change/newness. Ooooo, the printing press! It'll corrupt the peasants. Oooo, automated cotton picking machine. It'll make the workers lazy. Ooooo, tv. It'll destroy minds. Blah, blah, blah.

Marta Pires: Ha, Frank!

Jill Parmer: Alex, I have another question for you when ready. It's about "control".

Robin B.: Yup! There's a book about that exact thing, Frank. Why can't I remember its name?

Robin B.: Anyone? Bueller?

Virginia Warren: "Bad for You" Robin?

Capn Franko: My excuse is half-heimers, but you're not as old as I am.

Rippy: I love the phone Robin. I miss talking to people on the phone. I find it so comforting, especially if it's a dear friend.

Capn Franko: I avoid the phone as much as possible. Ick!

AlexPolikowsky4: And the other book is "War against fun" or something like that!

Virginia Warren: I hate talking on the phone, but I like Skyping with video. But I like text communication best.

Marta Pires: I love to skype! Especially if it's with Rippy or Alex or Sara! 

Rippy: I think me loving the phone makes me old-fashioned, I think...

AlexPolikowsky4: I occasionally like the phone. But it is rare!

Capn Franko: Gotta take Chloe to her next exam. Back in a few...

Sara Vaz:  Marta!

AlexPolikowsky4: Skype is OK for me. Gigi loves Skyping her friends!

Rippy: I love skyping with you too, Marta. 

AlexPolikowsky4: Jill is probably typing a question about control!

Robin B.: That's it, Virginia!

Rippy: My kids are so funny on skype. They are so exciting and talking a ton *before* they are on Skype with their friends. And then they are just mostly smiling and staring at each other. It cracks me up every time.

Sara Vaz: Without the internet, I would't have met you, Marta, my dear best friend! 

AlexPolikowsky4: Sara, without the internet I would not have met my husband! 

Sara Vaz:  Alex

Jill Parmer: Was Brian controlling? Did you encounter any struggle with control, if he was?

AlexPolikowsky4: Brian controlling about me? The kids?

Rippy: How did you meet Brian, Alex? Online dating?

Capn Franko: Never mind. Still here. MJ has to go too and she'll drive.

AlexPolikowsky4: No, Brian is not controlling. I am more of a bossy person. He usually goes with the flow.

Jill Parmer: Well you said that you did not have a problem with letting go of control, because your parents weren't controlling. How was it with Brian?

AlexPolikowsky4: Online dating Rippy. I broke up with another Brian and was mad and joined a dating site.

Jill Parmer: Did he want to control the kids? Want the kids to go to school? What's his attitude toward unschooling?

Marta Pires: I love to see your kids on skype, Rippy. They are a ball!!! But then again, so are you, so it must run in the family. 

Rippy: Fun! I have friends that met on an online dating site and they're wonderful and so are their kids.

AlexPolikowsky4: Brian is totally not controlling of TV or food. I used to want to control his eating! Thanks unschooling, for not nagging him anymore about him eating candy and cookies.

Rippy: We're a family of comedians Marta, it's true. 

AlexPolikowsky4: When my son was 2, a neighbor kid stopped by and was chatting with Brian. To that point I already wanted to homeschool and had been reading about unschooling. Then the kid chatted with me for an hour. When he left I was impressed how nice and cool that kid was. So I told Brian. He then said: "Oh they have 16 kids and they are all homeschooled" like it was cool. To the point I thought Brian wanted the kids to go to the same school he did, as his dad was in the board and he played basketball in High School. Then Brian surprised me when I said that I wanted to homeschool he said "that is cool."

Capn Franko: Cool.

Virginia Warren: Neat.

Rippy: It's so nice when your partner is on board straight away. I feel for moms (and dads) when their partners think it's just a crazy idea.

Virginia Warren: We decided on homeschooling before I got pregnant.

Rippy: I think it's great that there are so many nice homeschooling kids out there giving a great example of who they are just by being their sweet selves. And quietly convincing new parents that it's a good, solid idea.

Marta Pires: I'm very lucky to have a very sweet husband that has been on board with what I've been reading since Conchinha was born. 

Jill Parmer: Alex, about winter blues... do your kids notice that?

Jill Parmer: What do you do to overcome that?

AlexPolikowsky4: I was afraid to talk about homeschooling as Brian seemed like a more traditional person. Thinking back when I was pregnant with my son, one day I said: "You are not going to be one of those that want to sleep with their kids?" He nodded yes! I was like: "No, kids need to sleep in their beds." Who was I kidding. When my son was born he was not going a foot away from me. I had these really big mamma bear instincts that did not like anyone holding my baby!

Marta Pires: Great question, Jill.

Capn Franko: SAD (seasonal affective disorder)! *I* go to the Caribbean. Sometimes we take the kids. (grin)

Rippy: Graham was the first one to be convinced of homeschooling in our family. I was a couple of minutes behind him, but he was first.

AlexPolikowsky4: Jill, I do great, even when I have the winter blues, towards my kids. What suffers is the house and me doing stuff that is not related to my kids. I can still be happy and present.

Marta Pires: Going to the Caribbean. Now that looks like a very cool therapy, Frank! 

Jill Parmer: That's really cool, Alex.

Capn Franko: It's just a little on the high $$ side. Sometimes I gotta substitute with other therapies.

AlexPolikowsky4: It does not affect the way I am towards my kids. I just need a lot of escape so I don't feel anxious and paralyzed. House gets messy. I read a lot of books and audio books. This year the audio books were not helping me that much. The Korean Dramas have cheered me on! House still messy cause you cannot do anything while watching them! Subtitles are a bitch for wanting to do stuff while watching. Another reason to learn Korean.

Rippy: Marta, that is why we went to Spain this year. I noticed that I had very little energy last year and I think it was because we didn't get enough sun in 2013. A week's worth of sun was AMAZING for me. But of course you wouldn't have that problem living in lovely Lisbon.

AlexPolikowsky4: As you can see I do like to multitask! Audio books are great for that. I become a home cleaning machine with a good one!

Marta Pires: Portugal has tons of sun, luckily, yes. That's one of the reasons you're going to love it here. 

AlexPolikowsky4: Frank, the Caribbean would work for me.

Jill Parmer: Colorado! 360 days of sunshine a year! 

AlexPolikowsky4: Nothing like getting up early and going for a walk on the beach, surfing, sailing or diving to make life perfect.

Rippy: Alberta had tons of sun too, Jill.

Rippy: Marta, I think I'll love Portugal most of all because of you and your family. 

AlexPolikowsky4: I love the sun but there is something about the ocean that makes my soul happy and I am not a woo person.

Marta Pires: 

Robin B.: Yeah, the ocean...

Capn Franko: Alex said it! My life rules in my dotage are 2: 1. Sailing between the 30s and 2. saltwater no colder than 80 degrees F.

AlexPolikowsky4: I completely get it Frank.

Robin B.: Alberta is like living in Texas, but with plenty of snow. 

Capn Franko: I need to be by saltwater.

AlexPolikowsky4: In Brazil, if I felt like I feel in the winter I would go do one of the things above and all is fine. If I cannot do them, then I escape to books or movies.

AlexPolikowsky4: Yeah saltwater!

Jill Parmer: Alex, for the sake of future readers, I wonder if you should say something about your cookie/candy cupboard.

Rippy: I'm the same as Alex that during my winter blues, I notice that I save my best energy for the kids and Graham, but then the rest of the time I need a quiet escape to build up more energy. And I don't build it up fast enough. 

Marta Pires: Sandra also suggested that you maybe you could talk a bit "about [your] creative storage and play ideas."

Jill Parmer: I would add your creative buying ideas, too.

AlexPolikowsky4: My house has a lot, and when I say a lot I really mean a lot, of candy, chocolate and cookies all the time. My husband loves them and the kids like them. It is kept stocked. My husband likes to get it for the kids. It does go uneaten. I have a cupboard that is always full of them. Plus on a couple containers. I usually have tons to give away. Or when kids that are limited come they clean it up. Was it Raspberry that Gigi was cleaning up when you were here, Jill?

Marta Pires: One of the things that helped me visualize how I could turn my home into an unschooling nest were your videos, believe it or not. They were *very* important for me. Thank you for sharing them!

Jill Parmer: I don't remember any raspberry.

AlexPolikowsky4: Gigi eats pints of raspberries as they are candy and the candy sits there.

Jill Parmer: Link your video here, Alex?

AlexPolikowsky4: They can take a bite of a cookie and not eat the rest.

AlexPolikowsky4: I am going to link two videos.

AlexPolikowsky4: My house playroom and office -- http://youtube.com/watch?v=vuoQv5Q1oNY
AlexPolikowsky4: http://youtube.com/watch?v=SOXorXqffSE

Jill Parmer: I can attest, I've seen that cupboard, and I don't really remember anyone getting stuff out of it while I was there (about 3 days). I was amazed at it when Alex opened it to show us.

Marta Pires: Thank you, Alex. I'm trying to do several things at a time, so I'm clearly not being very useful for the chat...  Playing Catz on the Wii with Conchinha and answering Beatriz's questions for a gift for Bruno and reading and writing here.

AlexPolikowsky4: It is still full of stuff, Jill. It is not that the kids do not eat it. They do. But there is no such thing as "My kid would only eat cookies or candy if I let them."

AlexPolikowsky4: Was there another question I am missing?

Jill Parmer: Yes, I know they eat it; it's just not that big of a deal. Except when looking at it from a mainstream parenting perspective.

Rippy: Alex - were there cultural differences that you and Brian had that made things challenging sometimes - with your relationship or with the kids or with your relationships with each other's families?

Rippy: I think there was an earlier question about creative buying.

AlexPolikowsky4: I have had kids come and raid them. Take home bags full of candy. They were all kids that were limited and controlled.

Marta Pires: Interesting question, Rippy.

Virginia Warren: Do you ever get a hard time from the parents when the kids take home bags of sweets?

AlexPolikowsky4: Not that I can think of Rippy. At least not big ones. I think my biggest thing with Brian and the kids is that he, as most people, values what he likes above anything else. So he is into sports and playing basketball is more valuable than reading a book. He sure tries to see value but it is harder for him.

I don't think he was valued as much in his choices as a child maybe?

AlexPolikowsky4: Yes Creative Buying! We have a very small, and sometimes non existent, budget so my kids have learned to check sales, check online Facebook sales, Craigslist, shop in thrift stores. We can always save money, look for options! Gigi was ebaying before she could really read and write! My son is always checking prices and sales of what he wants. Right now we are going to put forth an effort to save some money as Gigi's computer just died and I can replace the part but that thing is ancient so we will build one.

AlexPolikowsky4: I learned to build gaming computers so my son could have a really good one that we could afford. He is really happy with it.

Marta Pires: You are one of the most creative buying moms I know, Alex!

Rippy: Thanks Alex. I'm always curious to how families from two cultures work around differences. I even wrote my thesis on it.

AlexPolikowsky4: Thanks to the internet! It is so much easier nowadays to research!

Rippy: Are the kids happy to wait for good deals, Alex?

AlexPolikowsky4: Brian just arrived and I asked him about cultural differences and he says there has never been any issues. He feels the same way as I do but Brian is very open minded in many ways.

Robin B.: I'm also in and out and now heading out on the road to Portland. Sorry I couldn't be here more or stay longer. I hope you will do another one, Alex!

JennyC joined the chat 

Robin B.: Bye, everyone!

Robin B. left the chat

AlexPolikowsky4: Rippy, they get better as they get older. When Gigi was younger I could go to the Thrift Store on the toy sale days and get a lot for very little. As they get older they want more expensive things, but they understand better.

AlexPolikowsky4: Well, Robin is on the way to Jenny's house!

JennyC: And I'm showing up super late and missed all of the chat!

AlexPolikowsky4: What I did with Gigi when she was little was to go to the Thrift store and fill the cart with stuff. Lets say our budget was $5. Then she would pick up to that budget the toys she wanted the most. I was really broke at that time. When my son was little he got everything he wanted at the same age. He wants very little now. When he wants something he really really wants it. But he waited a year for a PS3 and saved money and at least a year for a gaming computer. So yes, they wait. I know how hard it is to wait.

Renee Smock joined the chat

JennyC: It's really hard to wait for some kids.

Marta Pires: Alex, do you want to talk a bit about the conference you organized last year with Sandra and the one you're organizing this year again? (another one of Sandra's suggestions as a topic for today) From the pictures I saw and from what you told us, at the time, last year's conference looked pretty cool. And this year, not only will you be having Sandra again with you, but you'll also have Pam Laricchia! How cool is that?

Jill Parmer: What are you going to talk about at this year's ALL MN?

AlexPolikowsky4: I loved the Conference last year because it was small and you could hang out with everyone. Gigi made friends and met friends from online. It was pretty awesome. I have been to a big Conference. I do like it. My kids were young at 5 and less than 2. I missed a lot running around and I had my mom to help me. It was fun for sure but I get much more, specially with younger kids, from a small gathering. I think when my kids are older it will be easier in the biggest events.

Capn Franko: Waiting sucks. I'm a kid. Kinda.

AlexPolikowsky4: This year's conference is in Rochester (I live in a township just outside Rochester). It is in a Historical hotel downtown with lots to do right outside the door.

JennyC: In my dream world, I hit the road and show up to that conference!

AlexPolikowsky4: I think it will be great to meet and really connect with others!

Capn Franko: All I need is to hit the lottery.

JennyC: What are you going to be talking about?

AlexPolikowsky4: Last year we went to each other's rooms and chatted about all kids of things Jenny! It was so much fun!

AlexPolikowsky4: Hey Frank, aren't your stocks higher???? Hey!

Capn Franko: You saw that, huh? Yeah!

AlexPolikowsky4: Jenny, I was thinking about talking about supporting your kid's passions and how they are learning from it. Robin is making a similar talk !

AlexPolikowsky4: I saw that Frank!

AlexPolikowsky4: I pretty much love to embrace my kid's passions. I am not really a gamer but I absolutely love Video Games because of my son.

AlexPolikowsky4: It was the same with many of the things they loved.

Capn Franko: 14-year high! Been pretty flat for a long time. Makes retirement look better.

AlexPolikowsky4: It is because I love to see my kids into something and that something making them happy!

AlexPolikowsky4: Good for you and Ronnie! Retire and come visit friends! Or take friend to the Caribbean????

Capn Franko: Wouldn't that be fun? We're working toward leaving the kids in the house and we go RVing.

Jill Parmer: Alex, thank you so much for doing this. You're so interesting! I need to cut out early; heading to work. Hugs to you and your family. 

Capn Franko: We are going to the Caymans in July.

JennyC: That's how it's been for me too, Alex, I fell in love with the things my kids love.

Marta Pires: Thanks for being here Jill! Bye!

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AlexPolikowsky4: Love Jill!

Marta Pires: Alex, I've got one last question. (we've still got twenty minutes)

AlexPolikowsky4: I think one thing that helps me with unschooling and to get it is that I am a very curious person that loves to read and learn about stuff all the time.

AlexPolikowsky4: It is like my brain has this hunger. Thing is, the more I learn the more I want to learn because I realized I know so little.

AlexPolikowsky4: I think that helps!

Capn Franko: Yes. Ronnie and I are like that and we seem to have passed it on to the girls. Nice.

JennyC: Margaux jokes that she doesn't want to tell me about things because then I'll go and look it up.

AlexPolikowsky4: I know you guys do Frank, and I love that about you two.

AlexPolikowsky4: Ha Jenny, that is me!

AlexPolikowsky4: It has rubbed off on Brian and now he does it or asks me to google it.

Capn Franko: Excellent.

AlexPolikowsky4: Brian had a horrible school experience and I think that helps him see homeschooling as best.

Marta Pires: My question is about having kids with different ages and needs. What does it take? This is a question that comes around a bit, at least in the Portuguese groups, because kids are still very young, maybe.

AlexPolikowsky4: I have a very big advantage that my husband is home most of the time working on the farm. So if I need to, I can just leave one kid with him. Most people do not have that.

Marta Pires: True.

Renee Smock: Hi, I don't chat much here or post. But, I read a lot and I'm a big fan of everyone here right now.

AlexPolikowsky4: I think it was harder when Gigi was a toddler. As a baby I had her on a sling. As a toddler she was running around non stop. But because of Brian and my mom's regular visits, it made it easy for me. My mom could paint with Gigi while I played games with Daniel (or MD-my son). Or Gigi would go do chores with dad. Or I could leave my son home playing video games while I took Gigi to the park.

AlexPolikowsky4: They played really well together too. They loved to play pretend with their stuffed animals. That went on for years.

Renee Smock: Wanted to say something about the different ages. I have found some challenges there. I have a son who is 9 and a daughter who is 11. My son hardly ever wants to leave the house, my daughter is very social and would be out all day every day if she could.

AlexPolikowsky4: Hi Renee.

JennyC: My kids are 7 yrs apart.

AlexPolikowsky4: That would have been a issue for me, but like I said, I can leave my son home because dad is out in the farm. So I do have a big advantage on most. 

JennyC: Last night my oldest daughter and I cleaned the kitchen and there's a painting on a large piece of cardboard resting on top of the corner hutch. I took it down and wiped all the dust off and put it back up. There's nothing special about it to look at, but it's one of the rare times that the 3 of us did something together.

Renee Smock: That definitely helps. My husband has actually been able to help out that way more lately too.

AlexPolikowsky4: Two years ago we were heading to the World Dairy Expo for the day (it is a 7 hours total drive) and I did not have anyone to leave my son with. So he came. Because he is never forced to go this time there was not an option. I made it as painless as possible taking the laptop and handhelps gaming for him He ended up meeting a boy there and had lots of fun. But that is a rare occasion that there is not an option.

Marta Pires: Do you think that might have helped your kids' relationship be better and more peaceful? The fact that there were more adults around?

AlexPolikowsky4: Renee, sometimes I leave my son alone at home. If his uncle or dad are not out in the farm, I ask the neighbor across the street to keep an eye. It really depends on the kid.

AlexPolikowsky4: Yes, Marta.

AlexPolikowsky4: When the kids were little definitely.

Marta Pires: Ok, we've only got seven or eight more minutes, if anyone has one last question for our sweet Alex!

Renee Smock: True. My son would not be willing to stay alone. He will also not stay with grandparents or go to friends houses to play (with the exception of a few close friends he's known his whole life).

AlexPolikowsky4: I also used a neighbor as a mother's helper to come play with the kids. It worked great!

JennyC: My youngest is that way too Renee, she's 12 and is only now able to stay at home alone, and even then, it's really dependent on how she's feeling in that moment.

Renee Smock: It has been hard for me at times. But, as I see him growing and becoming more independent, I see that letting him get there in his own time has been a speical gift - one not everyone can give. So, that reminds me to have patience with him.

Capn Franko: Lunchtime for me. It was fun having an Alex chat! See y'all later.

AlexPolikowsky4: Another thing I learned is that sometimes all the kid needs is a couple minutes of focused attention from mom and they can move on and you can go back to doing whatever you were doing with the other child.

AlexPolikowsky4: Bye Frank!

Marta Pires: I've got to go too! Bruno's home and Beatriz and Conchinha are giving him his present. 

Marta Pires: Thank you so much Alex for being here and answering our many questions.

AlexPolikowsky4: Happy Father's day Bruno!

Marta Pires: Love you so much!

Marta Pires: 

AlexPolikowsky4: Love you too, Marta!

AlexPolikowsky4: Any other questions?

Marta Pires: Loved the chat!

AlexPolikowsky4: Anyone? Bueller?

Renee Smock: Alex, thanks for hosting. Your journey with unschooling has been inspiring me for years.

JennyC: Haha

Deb Lewis: Thank you, Alex and Marta!

AlexPolikowsky4: Thanks Renee.

Marta Pires: It's your turn next week, Deb!

AlexPolikowsky4: Deb <3

Marta Pires: 

Renee Smock: Deb Lewis... when will you be hosting a chat??

JennyC: Thanks Alex! I'm glad I popped in, sorry I missed most of it!

JennyC: Yes Deb, when?

AlexPolikowsky4: Next week for Deb, right?

Marta Pires: Renee, next week!

Marta Pires: Yes!!!!

Marta Pires: Yay, yay, yay!!!

Renee Smock: Fantastic! I will be on time next week!

Marta Pires: Me too! (I hope) Hehehehe

AlexPolikowsky4: Jenny is one of my other favorite people evah!

Deb Lewis: See you all then!

AlexPolikowsky4: Till we meet again!

JennyC: Thanks Alex! Yes, Alex is one of the few people I subscribe to on facebook!

AlexPolikowsky4: Same batplace and same battime.

Marta Pires: See you all next week!

Sara Vaz: Thanks for the chat, Alex! You really are an inspiring person! When I read what you write I feel such a positive, vibrant energy! 

AlexPolikowsky4: Ha! I subscribe to you too Jenny!

AlexPolikowsky4: Thanks, Sara!

JennyC: See you all there!

JennyC: I will set my alarm clock now!

AlexPolikowsky4: Aish! I got a lot of love today guys! thanks!

AlexPolikowsky4: 

Virginia Warren: You rock, Alex.

Sara Vaz: 

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AlexPolikowsky4: Ha Virginia you know what came to mind? The ASRock Extreme4 Mobo! HA!

Virginia Warren: Heh heh heh

AlexPolikowsky4: See you all next week! Bye!

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